"Why'd I do it?"

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. . . [God asked the man] “Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate. ”Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:6, 11-13

Amazingly, I came home from work several years ago, and my (then 13-year-old) son was sitting on the edge of our bed, engulfed in a conversation with Susan. When I walked in, he asked me, “Why do I do what I know I’m not supposed to? And don’t do what I know I’m supposed to do?” I declared, “Because your mama ate the apple.” Susan looked at me and said, “That’s cuz you weren’t man enough to stop me!” Ouch. I think that sums the whole thing up.

There’s just so much regarding the nature of man in these verses in Genesis 3. For the first 34 or 35 years of my life, “the fall of man” meant nothing to me. Despite being raised in a conservative Jewish home and attending the synagogue all the time, I never heard a word about the fall. In fact, Jewish Rabbi Kaufmann Kohler writes, “In modern Jewish thought the fall of man is without dogmatic importance.”[1]  Really??

However, the reality of Genesis 3:6 slapped me in the face in September of 2000 when I read Paul’s words in Romans 7:18-20,

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

I was not a believer at that time, but I began to think that maybe something significant did happen way back in the Garden. And maybe sin and death did enter the scene back then. Maybe that propensity, that inclination, towards selfishness and wrongdoing had made its way down the corridor of time to me—to all of us. And maybe I wasn’t as OK as I thought I was. Maybe I was more “jacked up” inside than I would care to admit. Honestly, in that moment, I suppressed the thought and tucked it in my pocket. I didn’t want to think about it. Why?

Several months later, I realized the answer to the “why” question. Self-sufficiency comes to a screeching halt when we acknowledge our sinfulness. The world screams DIY, while the Lord proclaims you can’t, but I can. Over those months, I began to understand that I bring nothing to the table of salvation other than the sin that made it necessary. 

Father, I praise You for Your Word and the way You used it to reveal my #notOKness. In Your wisdom, You used Genesis 3 to allow me to begin to see my brokenness and need for You. Lord, let us be honest with ourselves. Acknowledge our need. Acknowledge our inclination toward self-centeredness and sin. And Lord, please reveal to us the way You beautifully redeem broken things like us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

[1] https://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/5999-fall-of-man